Perspective

Times Are Changing

by Ian Connor Bifferato, Esquire

I can’t believe I did it. I said that I never would. It seems to be such an indication of surrender, but yet it was inevitable. I used to be the one who ridiculed the “other people” who gave in, and I did it with a sense of self-assured impunity because I was sure that I never would and it made me feel somehow superior. I suppose that now I can’t blame others (even my own sister) who are ridiculing me because I did it. I’m not really less of a person, I tell myself. I am a bigger person for having the courage to recognize that it was a predetermined outcome that I couldn’t avoid. Walking into the decision with my head held high was the best way to handle it.

But when I finally did walk into the Honda dealership to pick up the minivan that I had ordered over the phone (to provide myself with a false sense of anonymity), I knew that all eyes were on me. I could almost sense the other customers shopping for their sporty coupes and whispering to one another…pointing at me as they said in their mocking tones, “here comes ‘Mr. Conservative I-Live-in-the Suburbs-and-Drive-a-Minivan Dad.’ ” Okay, so I did move to the suburbs within the past year (yet another “I’ll never do it”) but I don’t have two and half kids, just two, unless you count our yellow lab as a half – wait…that’s not helping me save my image I suppose.

In the end, that’s what it seems that everyone is really concerned about isn’t it – image I mean? It seems to have happened overnight and really without any input from us, but all of a sudden, most of my friends and I are going from staying out all night and going to work on an hour’s sleep to trying to stay awake long enough to watch Trading Spaces on Saturday night! I will say, as far as image goes, that I did, in the immortal words of John Travolta from Get Shorty, get the “Cadillac of minivans.” Heck, the doors even open up automatically when you press a button on the key fob! My two and a half year old daughter wasn’t really all that impressed though. It took her less than a week to get sick all over the interior – so much for that “new car smell,” but at least she has her own way ofmaking a statement.

So getting the car was a big metaphor for me – maybe for you it’s buying a little extra life insurance or maybe admitting that you have watched the whole season of the Bachelorette (come on, you know you did…or worse you wanted to but were juuuust too embarrassed).

The “more senior” members of the Bar who are reading this are saying “please son, you’re still just a young kid.” The younger ones are saying “no way, that’ll never be me!” To the more senior lawyers I would say, “I hope so!” To the younger ones I would say, “riiiiight…let me know when you need a ride.”

Return to March 2003 Table of Contents.