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PerspectiveCLE on MTV by Mark F. Dunkle, Esquire Watching Ozzy Osbourne and family on television
should somehow qualify for two or three hours of home-study CLE
credit in Constitutional Law (and FCC regulation, family law,
elder law, immigration law, misdemeanors, torts and truancy -
just to scratch the surface). The domestic misadventures of this
aging heavy metal star provide some silly entertainment that lawyers
really need now and again. Forget the gym once in a while and
take a peek at how another family gets through the day. I guarantee
you will feel refreshed, energized and more normal than you ever
thought possible. And, by studying the Ozzy method, you will see
Constitutional Law come alive in ways you never imagined. While not the Norman Rockwell ideal, the Osbournes
certainly cherish the Four Freedoms. Freedom of Speech: The Osbournes, young and
old, take full advantage of this fundamental freedom. Fortunately
I am a contextual listener (which explains how I passed German
in high school) because you need that skill to piece together
what each Osbourne is saying in and around all of the bleeps.
The moving pictures help, since most conversations consist of
a few monosyllabic nouns surrounded by the censor's bleeps. But,
Ozzy and family seem to communicate to each other quite well in
their bleepin' vernacular. I believe I have heard Ozzy opine on
such varied topics as tattoos (good for him, bad for his daughter);
Pat Boone (an unfortunate neighbor); teenager's curfew (absolutely
no later than midnight during the school week) and fate (Ozzy's
glad he's not Sting). Ozzy's rough but honest commentaries on
working and raising teenagers are worth hearing, even with a few
bleeps here and there. I know it makes me feel better. Definitely
worth one CLE hour on why we tolerate the First Amendment. Freedom of Worship: Well, from what I can
tell, Ozzy mostly worships his dogs, who have the run of the house
(even though they aren't yet housebroken) Oh yes, he also worships
his wife Sharon, who keeps him on track, off alcohol, and in step
with his children. Billed on tour as the "Prince of Darkness,"
Ozzy at home bears little resemblance to a servant of Satan. The
Osbournes seem to enjoy the Freedom to Not Worship. They did attempt
to celebrate Christmas with a family dinner, but that soon degenerated
into a lot of bleepin' argument. See, I told you they were almost
normal. Again, the First Amendment in action. Give yourself another
half-hour of CLE. Freedom from Want: The dramatization of this
Rockwellian freedom comes alive in every Osbourne episode. From
the echoing halls of their sprawling California mansion to their
Gucci adorned suite at the Plaza Hotel, the Osbournes thoroughly
enjoy the Freedom to Shop. I suppose the Founders would consider
this a pursuit of happiness. Take another half-hour credit for
examining the real meaning of an inalienable right, courtesy of
the Osbournes. Freedom from Fear: What would Ozzy Osbourne,
the Prince of Darkness himself, have to fear? Why, teenagers,
of course. Tattoos, boyfriends, navel rings, too many earrings,
raves, drivers licenses, teenager friends and hangers-on, late-night
parties, spending money, saving money, going to school, staying
in school. And that's just on camera. I think Ozzy's greatest
fear is that Pat Boone might actually drop by. All right, you've wasted a perfectly good tenth of a billable hour reading this diversion. Get back to work. But if you just can't make it to the gym or get that 5K run in this weekend, break the cycle of stress with a healthy dose of the Osbournes. Watching this family work and play will really make youappreciate yours.
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